“Tee Tee Ti ti” “Tee Tee Ti ti”
The alarming alarm clock never fails to wake me up as early
as possible. Gosh!!! I had just slipped into my blanket and it is already time
to get up. With half closed eyes I opened my bedroom’s French doors to a
slightly cloudy, chilly and a strange lush green morning. Wow! What a view. I
told myself- “Well! It has been one of the best decisions to pick this house”.
And just when I was enveloping myself into the beautiful morning, reality
struck me. Oh! Quickly I ran the long checklist in my mind:
1.
Set the grocery list
2.
Get the clothes from the laundry
3.
Diwali dusting and cleaning
4.
Fix the electricity gas bills
5.
Talk to the maid to do some extra work (Have to
do the buttering you know!!! She is the actual boss…haha! Never mind)
6.
Finish the registration for the society
7.
Call the electrician and plumber (Few things
keep slipping down in the list!)
8.
Make the presentation for tomorrow’s client
presentation
9.
Order paneer and cream, have to add it to the
grocery list (My husband wants to have his favorite Mutter paneer)
Oh my God so much to do. Apart from this list I have to rush
to office and be my “best self” too. Did
God miss out on giving me a few more hands when he was designing my life? Just
rolled my hair up and started to wheel on my toes. Just when I was folding my
side of the bed I saw my husband sleeping like a baby, to the glory with his
blanket ad his favorite pillow. Ahh! Anyway.
I planned my day perfectly, so that I didn’t miss out on
anything. Then I remembered it is Sheela Mashi’s birthday.
“Tring Tring” “Tring Tring”
“Hi Mashi, Happy Birthday”
“So late beta, I was expecting your call long back”. Well it
is 7:00am in the morning!!!
“I am so sorry, was little caught up. So what’s the plan?”
And the call continued with me preparing the breakfast and
getting our lunch boxes ready with my other hand. My husband slowly got up with
his cute smile, kissed me on my cheek and conveniently landed on the bean bag
with his daily newspaper. And then both of us got ready in jet speed, sat in
our cars and off to work.
“Sorry Sorry Sorry” I rushed in to the Morning meeting with
glaring eyes on me to have been 5 minutes and one coffee round late. I wanted
to explain how difficult a woman’s mornings are, but then I ignored explaining
it to a room full of men who just know how to pick their lunch boxes, have
stomach full breakfast and come sit on their comfortable reclining chairs.
I started with my review slides, it went well. Sigh!!! The
day rolled like a song in fast forward mode.
We had to go to my in-laws house that evening for dinner and
discussions for the upcoming wedding in the family. My husband had already
reached, as I could hear the piles of laughter and loud discussions right from
the parking. I smiled!
As I entered, my sister-in-law gave me a broad smile and
hugged with the customary greetings. And there was my gorgeous MIL in her
shimmer pink saree. “Come beta, go get some water, must be tired”. I took out a
chilling water bottle from the fridge. By now, she knows a few things about me.
Like how I like my water cold, food
really hot and my beloved independence. Though there has not been a consensus
between us, but we are a happy family.
I could sense a few
scanning looks as I was dressed in a skirt and a blouse. Oh c’mon I can’t go to
the office in those misfit flowery Salwar suits. Anyway, I sat together with
the family and we discussed and planned Bitu Mama’s daughter’s wedding in
December. After all the travel plans, the gifts, etc; Mummy ji called me inside
the kitchen to help her serve dinner. She started making Mutter Paneer quickly
as it is her son’s favourite dish. My calculative
mind kept on analysing the expiry date on the paneer packet I bought in the
morning to make “mutter paneer”.
“Beta just cut the paneer into big slices”
“Sure mummy ji”
“Simran (My sister-in-law), please help me with the kajus,
bhabhi doesn’t know how to do it
What!!! Why would I not know how to cut
Kajus?
Anyway I just let go of it and finished cutting the paneer and sat with
my father-in-law to discuss his investments. He trusts me with all his
investments, perks of being an investment banker you see!!! I could hear
giggles from the kitchen about me, but I kept my smile intact, as according to
Indian family rules (God knows according to which rule book!), you should
always have a pleasant smile, keep everyone happy and don’t forget- You have to
be perfect!
We had dinner and rushed to the parking to leave for home. My husband asked me to drop my car there itself so that we went together. I
jumped into his car, thank God no driving after such a tiring day at least!.
He turned on the radio and there was my favourite song- “Bahoon
ki darmiyan”…He knew it is one of my favourites, he reached out to my hand and
increased the volume of the stereo, and we drove through the empty dim lit
street (an hour ride back home, and it was already 12:30 am, a busy day next
day already waiting!) Thanks to the late night radio stations, it kept playing
some amazing 90s classics.
Suddenly he said- “I know you didn’t like a few things that
happened today (He meant at his parent’s place), He clasped my hand and said- “I
don’t know how you manage everything so well with a smile, Thank you”
I smiled. I know he cares.
I looked out of the window and went back to a
flash back, when we were in college and romance was always in the air. Then we
got married, accepted all ups and downs and slowly romance got replaced
partially with responsibilities and daily chores. I think that’s how life is.
Noting fades, it just keeps changing seats.
Next day, again started with the cruel alarm clock and the
day’s clock started ticking with my husband rolled inside the blanket and me running
around our beautiful house to tick my checklist. But today I am very happy. I
am going to my parents’ house after a long time for a night stay.
I was waiting for the clock to strike 6 in the evening so
that I just jumped into my car and reached my parents for a relaxed time.
“Welcomeeeeeeee” stood my dad with open arms. I just dropped
my bag and hugged him as tight as possible. And there stood my emotional hema
malini, always ready with her tear glands ready, irrespective of any occasion.
My angel mom- emotional and always wearing that beautiful charming smile. She
was ready with my favourite Chocó shake with the right amount of coco powder
and cream.
I looked at her and asked- “How do you manage everything with a
smile, your work, house, a very demanding husband and every little and big
things in life. How do you do everything so swiftly? I am struggling everyday
to manage and keep everything ready”. I was on the verge of crying. Last few
days have been a bit stressful both at home and office.
She clasped my hand and in a fraction of a second tears just
rolled on my cheeks. She didn’t wipe it for me.
She said- “Trust me puchu (my nickname, I know it sounds
funny for a 32 year old), I was exactly like you at your age Always on my toes,
trying to be perfect all the time, keeping everyone happy. I think I was more
stressed than you as we had a joint family then. Then One day I realised, what
have I done to myself? I am just running behind nothingness. Which report card
am I aiming at? That day I dropped all inhibitions and decided to “Let go”. Nothing
stopped, nothing has stopped even today, but I relaxed myself by letting go of
a few things”
As I wiped my tears. She continued- “It is ok if you don’t
cook a 5 course meal every day. Sometimes it is fun to hop into a restaurant.
It is ok if you cannot find your husband’s papers in the cupboard; he’ll learn
to keep his things by himself. It is ok if you didn’t keep the house spick and
span every day, why have you kept a maid? And my dear, it is really ok to have
slight tiffs with in-laws, they and you are of different generations, gaps are
inevitable my dear”. We are your parents; they are your parents-in laws. You
will always be my priority baby. They love you and will always love you, but
don’t expect or compare. It is unfair for both.
I looked at her with open eyes. Dumbstruck. She could read
my mind and taught me life lessons with such fluidity.
My father entered the room with three glasses of sparkling white
wine. And he looked at us and asked- What’s the matter ladies?
We burst out into a big laugh and he smiled and sat with us.
We spent the evening talking about the new government, bits and pieces of family
gossip and things of very less importance.
Next day was a Sunday, I drove back home to my husband who
was ready with an awesome American breakfast for us with a set table, surprisingly!
He sometimes surprises me with his little ways. Though this happens once in a
blue moon, but still refreshes me every time. We were having a great time
discussing how fun it was with mamma and papa yesterday and how papa tripped
just after a glass of wine and, THUD!, he dropped the bread spread bottle, and
gave me a mischievous look and said-“Sorry babe” .
I just smiled at him and said-“It is ok, we’ll clean it
later”. And continued with my stories. I know he was shocked with my reaction,
because he knew it is a big deal for me as I left the floor dirty deliberately,
unlikely me.
Well!.
But we continued with our chit chat. He then continued with his
trip story with mummy ji and papa ji. He explained how my MIL was praising me
in front of Bitu mama and Mami of how confident and independent I am. And I
smiled.
All these years I tried to build a perfect home, with a
perfect me and lately realized
Home isn’t a place, home is a feeling.
That day I decided to let go. It took me some time to get
accustomed, but this little step led me to a more loving, complete and a
beautiful life full of imperfections.
