IMPOSTER

There came the most beautiful sight ever, the brightest star in the beautiful clear sky, the purest of rain drops, the delicate fresh petals, and the fragile flapping birds…THE IMPOSTER.

Showed me different meanings of love, care and romance and dragged me into a beautiful unlived, untapped and the most beautiful dream that I had hidden inside me. Unveiled the fragments of emotions and bonded into a very temporary string of arrays of emotions and sentiments. Dissuaded to be a lifelong form, I kept on following as a blind bird or a silent flow of the loudest sea. I could hear his laughter and false promises, but I failed to listen to my own footsteps, maybe I was running and not walking anymore. I kept on following the imposter like a fool or  just like a timid rabbit who didn’t know what to do or who was in search of a small shelter thatched with love. I was dragged into the black haunted lane, covered with the spectacular lights and the best of fragrance and I forgot who I was and where I was heading to.

But, I did not stop, why didn’t I stop? I could have stopped but I didn’t want to stop may be, I wanted to move on just out of curiosity as to what was happening and where was I headed to, will I be surprised? Or Shocked? I kept on flowing with the flow least bothered to realize that I was actually being rolled and strangled in an untie able knot. But still I did not stop, kept on moving with the song. The best tune played ever. I tapped to the tune that he played and danced to the song he sang, did not listen to the warnings and paid no attention to the red alerts and mistook them with the green ones as the sun was scorching and blinded my already myopic view. He did show me a path and a plan, which was impressive and I did not take a heartbeat before believing the imposter and handed my hand on his and stumbled hard over a rock and fell on my face. When I got up I was appalled to see that there was no fragrance, no lights and no hand, not even an inch of the plan. I was standing alone on a 5 way road and vehicles crossing heather and thither which could run over me anytime. Was it a dream? Or a nightmare? Or was I actually cheated by the most beautiful image and left with a book full of puzzles? I was speechless with a question mark on my face, couldn’t think of an alternative and closed all doors of hope and brightness. There is nothing as a pure feeling, it’s all adulterated and we would be a fool if we believe in any Imposter.

There is nothing called forever, there will be lessons on every turn and we need to fall down and get up with pain so that we appreciate the best things and our dear ones when they are around.

Conversation with My God!

Dear God,
How are you? Can I ask you that? I'm sure I can, after all you are my friend. Yes, You are my friend. Do you see what's happening? Well! everybody is behind something or the other and I feel I've taken a break and i'm standing still in the middle of the road and getting dashed as everybody is moving in glider speed. What do I do now? Should I move on? Or hold on? There is this huge black shadow falling on me and covering my clear vision and stopping me from moving forward but yes the thin beam of light that comes directly from your window guides and guards me. There is mental debate going on, a few streams pulling me down and strangling me and others encouraging me to go touch the sky and steal a few stars and put them into my bag.

"You must be the change you want to see in the world" the divinity inside me says that if I have to follow and believe in this statement I have to work towards it The other day I could hear you, you were guiding me towards a new beginning but I ignored the voice and moved towards a different direction and tripped over a small stone and fell on my face. Then I got up and moved towards you, I marked those landmarks you had  left for me,Thank You! As I moved forward I could see everything clear and slowly the baggage behind me got lightened. Blindly, I walked towards you and smiled!, after a long time, long long time.

Slowly, I encountered the most beautiful sight, a bright side. Thank you. I felt I had all the strength to win over my weaknesses and difficulties. I started monitoring and controlling my life, I was happy.Suddenly...I got up. It was a beautiful dream , a dream which you want me to live , which I love and which I should do. Do everything that my heart says,without thinking about anybody else and anything else and just follow the trail drawn by you and following the path to happiness and carefree life.

God, I am committing complete surrender, just hold my hand and walk me through, then I am sure I'll win over the evil and relive the real ME.Pull me out and take me into you, cleanse me and make em yours. I know you are watching me, smiling at me and testing me. Please give me the strength to withstand the pressure and come out with my favorite colors. You will always be my best friend,confidante, love.

Love always
Yours me!.

Borrowed thoughts...

I am borrowing this thought...
If we want it to happen then we must work hard to make it happen or else the greatest plans will look worthless...

Don't say you love me unless you really mean it
Coz I might do something crazy like believe it!!!

Love is the emblem of eternity:it confounds all notion of time
Effaces all memory of beginning:all fear of an end.

If you love me please let me know
If not please gently let me go.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason,
People change so that you can learn to let go,
Things go wrong so that you appreciate when they are right,
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself.
And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together"


Thoughts borrowed or created will always be termed as thoughts, pure, own and of course real to relate. Sometimes simplest of things bring an ear to ear grin on our faces and things that we've paid much importance leave us broken with unnecessary trails of tears, but thoughts cannot be avoided and we shouldn't avoid them as well. Coz sometimes they are our best friends.

Keep thinking...

True!!!

Umeedon wali dhoop...

The Blind Right Turn

Screech!!!

I picked my blazer and bag and left my work area with heavy eyes and a light heart. As I took the stairs instead of the elevator I was recapitulating the day and planning the next day ahead and suddenly a thought struck me and I was stopped from moving ahead.

Where am I heading? I have no life, every day the wheel of monotony is just orbiting and twisting me along with it. I dropped my car keys and unconsciously walked down the street. As I walked across the crowded bunch of people moving hither and thither for something or the other I found myself one among them. I took a blind right turn which led me to a crowded metro, without even thinking I got into it and moved towards a dead end or a new beginning. As I sat down I found an old couple deeply in love enjoying each other’s company with leaps of laughter and many times just sitting and watching each other that brought a genuine smile on my face. I don’t know after how long I smiled and it was an old couple that brought it for me.  As I turned my face outside the tinted window, I could see a beggar relishing a piece of loaf sitting on the platform in rags, yet enjoying the contentment. That made me realize how discontent I am in life with a thick wallet, a big house, the most expensive car and no emotions to witness.

I got down in the next station and continued walking, a clearer path now. I reached out for the cigarette packet in my blazer pocket and pulled out a fag and started making rings in the air and again I was smiling, second time in many days. Wow!!! Something as small as this made me smile, I enjoyed watching those rings forming and again vanishing into the source. I started playing with the punk on the road. I was wondering whether I was actuallllyyyy doing it. But I continued doing it as it made me happy. I was pushed into a standstill when I reached a bend on the road where an old blind woman was selling toys and everyone just passed by her as if she was invisible; even I must have passed by her many times unnoticed and ignorant. I took a break and sat on the rough dingy roadside bench and kept looking at her intensely as she kept on marketing her product with no buyers and hardly any spectators. My heart melted and moved towards her, kept the bundle of money that I had in my wallet, thanked her and left the place with the basket full of toys. I was wondering what to do with the basket when I found a bunch of kids playing with stones on the road. I called them and gave the basket to the kids and the divine expression on their face cannot be compared with any success, failure, money, and not even any other emotion. It was certainly heavenly to have seen those beautiful smiles and the way they played and caressed the toys.

As I walked down towards my home, finally; I asked myself as to what is the use of my masters’ degree? What is the use of the salary that I draw, the car that I drive and all other luxuries that I indulge into, when I don’t get to feel the emotions of other people? When I look at myself now I feel that I could have done much more when I have done and contributed very little, to myself. I reached home and switched on the light, and I could see everything clearly…very clearly.

I walked through the untrodden and decided to walk on the least trodden to make the difference, first in me and then for the others. There is no use of a life gifted by God, if we don’t understand the other gifts of god…